Original Poem

Written by me :o)

Which Is Worse

Is losing someone in death as bad as in love?
For neither a pleasant experience one should have to think of.

Some might say death,
Because it seems forever...
But isn't true love lost,
A pain felt together?

Possibly not, but I think it is so,
either path is a terrible road to go.

And what about the brokeness of a once loved heart?
Surely that shatters one's world all apart.

But Death in it's silence,
shares lost loves sad tears.
And brings with it stifling,
questions of everlasting fears.

Both send spirits sinking, which one can not deny.
For when a love is lost forever, the heart truely dies.

The News Sucks

I hate the news. Television pisses me off! I was watching it tonight and they only showed a blurb about the terrible situation in Taiiwan. Over ten thousand people have died, and yet their top stories are about the day after Christmas shopping sprees and markdown sales, and which hills are best for sledding!! What a frickin' load of crap!

If that disaster had been in the U.S., you would see nothing but that devestation on every channel. No wonder so many people outside the U.S. hate Americans. I know that people care, so why then does the news have to be so idiotic and protray us like uncaring selfish morons! I am insulted! I am not saying that it should be glamorized, but give me a break. At the very least have it as the top story, and provide the public with information about how to help or something useful! No one should give a rats rear about the day after Giftmas sales events when so many people are in such distress and pain!

Wisdom and baseball bats

Funny how things in life always look better initially or look more in perspective in hindsight. It really pisses me off when I think about the mistakes I have made, and how dumb I have been in the past. But then I am thankful for the lessons that they have taught me...isn't that ironic?!

I often wonder if the mistakes we make, dictate the outcome of our future events. For instance, relationships. If we don't start off good in a relationship, does that mean it won't ever find a way to be good? God being all, knowing all (past and present)...knows which choice we will make. Why then should I be angry about the outcome I recieve, from some obscure lesson God is trying to teach me? Shouldn't I be thankful?! But truth be told, I am usually pissed off for not getting my way and act like a spoiled frickin' brat. I want my way. I want my needs to be met...and when "my needs" aren't what God knows them to be...I act like a punk...why?! I should be more committed to him, and more content of his sovereignty.

Sometimes though, I wish God would just hit me over the head with his wisdom, instead of the quiet whispers in which it is endowed. I would spend so much less time in inner turmoil about things that I don't get my way about. It kind of reminds me of the time I got hit with a bat in the face. I mean the time I got hit in the face with a baseball bat...I knew it hurt...I didn't need to get hit in the head to know that...but it confirmed the living crap out of the "wisdom" that a baseball bat to the face hurts. I often feel like I "know" things but I need to get hit in the face with it to really "KNOW" the wisdom behind it.

Yellow Snow Fun :o)

Thanks to HMB for this one :o)

Close call

So I am driving home from "time wit da family" and a little voice in my head tells me to slow down at a green light near the Mason Meijers store. So I listen to the voice....which is so not typical of me....and I catch a blurr out of the corner of my eye.....

I slam on the breaks to watch a car fly through the red light going about 50MPH. I would've hit him corner to corner....I only missed him by like ten feet. The driver never even hit his brakes to slow down...just flew through the red light. I got home and was a little shaken...I have had close calls before, but never going that fast....thank you God for the still small quiet voice in my head!

Family Fun!

So tonight I felt like I was part of the Sopranos! or maybe in a bad version of the Godfather movies. I went Christmas shopping with my father, his two brothers, and my little old grandmother.

You see...they made me an offer I couldn't refuse..."free dinner" :op

I come from an Italian background on my pop's side of the family. My grandmother was first generation born US. Her father was from Palermo, Sicily (Italy). He was a rum runner for the mob in Detroit (or so the story goes). No one knows for sure...but you can definately tell my family is Italian. It was so funny...three men in the back and one in the front (with Grams riding "shotgun")....It must have looked even funnier. I laughed the entire night...those guys crack me up. My grandma only had three boys...and I am the only grandson....so I am kind of like the little brother in that group!

They have the talk and the walk of the typical Italian man. No greasy hair, but the isms of Italian talk like "how ya doin'?" and "watcha lookin' at?"....like I said it is hillarious! We had fun and laughed the night away...got to spend quality time with Grandma too...what a shop'aholic!

Victory

Last night I experienced something cool...a victory in a high stakes wrestling match. I was so proud of our wrestlers, but I couldn't help but think about how very short glory lasts. And the glory that I felt was directed inward and it should've been reflected to God. What a challenge...

You see as an athlete I think I did a good job of giving God the glory....now I am in charge...and yet I am not in charge...God is...so how can I show my team and wrestlers this difficult task? Glory fades...but God doesn't...I want to be a good leader to my boys on the team. I want to teach them about things that last forever, not just a glimmer. I want to see them shine in success and in life, knowing that God loves them. Knowing that I care about them.

I talk too much...or do I? :o)

So I was sitting here relaxing...thinking about life. I do that way too much I am told...I am too serious about it or something ;o) But I couldn't help wonder, why it is so hard to just sit and relax...I mean...I start feeling guilty or something if I am not busy doing stuff.

A friend of mine said I talk too much...and they are probably right. It drives some people nuts! I guess that is why I don't listen enough...too busy talking :op So today I tried to just relax and be silent...which of course for me is hard. It's the ADHD in me...or whatever I guess. But today I relaxed for the first time in awhile...reflecting on stuff. Stuff like my priorities...what do I believe...where am I going...then I started talking about things to myself in my head(talking too much again)....

Of course...that made me not relax...so I just tried to blank out and listen to my kittens purr and pet my dog. But a thought hit me...kind of like a brick over the head. It was a little random really, but really made me think. Another friend of mine and I had a conversation, and I asked that friend of mine, not to long ago, about "What do you believe in?" "What do you have faith in?"

-"God" they said!

So being my talkative self...I asked another question "What has your faith/belief made you change about your life I asked?"

-"nothing much I guess...."

Trying not to be too forward I asked "What has your faith/belief made you do?"

-"Stuff!"...I was starting to annoy them...

So then...you believe/have faith in God...which you don't know how it's changed your life, and that has made you do stuff....WOW...really sound like you have a strong faith/belief there....strong faith! (I thought this to myself...cuz I wanted to ask some more questions!)

Then I asked a new question...similar to the first....
"Do you believe/have faith in money?"

~"I guess..." they said

What has your belief/faith in $$$ made you do?

~"Get a job...to pay bills, buy things, eat, etc, etc"

Hmmm...what has it done to change aspects of your life?
~"I have to budget it, I got an education to get a job to make it, search for a career, etc., etc.

So I asked my friend..."which do you have more faith in based on your response? God or Money?" They kind of were shocked...

Now I know my friend very well...and I know they have a strong faith in God. But expressing their faith in God was so much harder to do than explaining their faith in money. Do we live our lives like that? Does our faith show through to others? Or are we fitting into culture, living our faith in earthly things rather than Godly ones? These questions challenged me to think and reflect about how I live...am I living in faith....and what proof do I have that I am doing so?

Good friend...short time....

A few months back I met this guy name Kris...he was a cool guy. We had a lot in common. He liked cars, going fast, racing, and the list goes on. He was a little older than me, but we kind of struck it off...starting talking cars and motors (gearhead talk). He was of course a mechanic. http://www.eandip.com/443732.html

He was funny, and a nice guy...oh ya...and a good mechanic when it comes to making a car go faster. That is why I came to him in the first place...for his expert advice. I asked him if he could get my performance parts to work correctly...and of course he agreed...that is how our friendship began.

.........Last week I heard some terrible news......Kris died on his way to work via a 20 year old drunk driver...Kristofir Enniss passed away Saturday, November 20, 2004...I guess I am still in shock...I mean Kris and I were only friends for a short while...but I liked Kris, we could've been really good friends! Good friends are hard to find...and that makes me sad...and angry...cheated out of a good friendship!

I know God has his plans, but I want to know what they are somedays...like that day I heard about Kris. I just pray that God will be with Kris's wife, his friends, his family...give them peace, and comfort.


http://www.mitchellfuneral.com/Obits.html

http://www.lansingstatejournal.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20041125/NEWS01/411250336&SearchID=73191678148005