Angry and Mad

I have been trying to spend a lot of time lately just contemplating life and trying to listen for God's direction....through prayer and reading my bible. What I can't stand is all of the slack I take from friends and family when I get questions about my life that only God really knows. For instance...

"Joey, when are you ever going to get married?"
"How come you haven't found a girlfriend?"
"How come you are not more active in finding someone to date?"
"Why do you spend so much time praying and reading your bible?"
"When is your car going to run again?"...had to throw that one in there....
"How come you are so busy?"
The list is really long...but you kind of get the idea....these are all things that piss me off!

While it is totally true...almost every single friend I have is married, having kids, or intently "dating" someone, my time needs to be spent seeking God for him to move me....not for me to try and move him!

First, let me just say...I haven't dated anyone in nearly a year. For some that might not seem like that long of time....but for me....it has seemed like an eternity based on the circumstances I have been through....and for friends and relatives...I guess they see me coming up on 27 and are worried. Well let me put the worries to rest! GOD IS IN CONTROL PEOPLE! I haven't dated anyone because I don't feel God has place the right person in my life....I spend a lot of time praying and reading the Bible so I can find out more about God and his purpose for me....I am busy because if I wasn't I would probably go insane and become a hermit on some mountain top talking to wild animals.....wait....maybe that last part is coming fulfilled with all of the pets that inhabit my residence. Just kidding....but seriously....People wonder why I get worked up about things like this....it's because they are always constantly bothering me with the same frickin' questions....which I don't have the answers to!!!! Simply reitterated....GOD IS IN CONTROL PEOPLE! If God wants me to get married....then I don't have much choice....if he doesn't...then I will just wait for him. Sounds like a sound thing to do.

While my car is nearly running again...and I am doing well on the outside....inside I am frustrated. I do want God to put someone in my life, but I don't want to be in control of that situation....I always screw it up! He needs to heal me and guide me spiritually, mentally and emotionally. I am giving God time to change me and prepare me so when I do meet someone...I will be ready...mentally, spiritually, emotionally, and willingly. So the next person that ask's me "Joey....why...." I might just explode...and deck them in the face! Or more likely just say "Hey...God is in control...that is good enough for me!"

So if there is anyone out there who still reads this....pray for this for me....please. ;o)