Written by me :o)
Which Is Worse
Is losing someone in death as bad as in love?
For neither a pleasant experience one should have to think of.
Some might say death,
Because it seems forever...
But isn't true love lost,
A pain felt together?
Possibly not, but I think it is so,
either path is a terrible road to go.
And what about the brokeness of a once loved heart?
Surely that shatters one's world all apart.
But Death in it's silence,
shares lost loves sad tears.
And brings with it stifling,
questions of everlasting fears.
Both send spirits sinking, which one can not deny.
For when a love is lost forever, the heart truely dies.
Tuesday, December 28, 2004
Sunday, December 26, 2004
The News Sucks
I hate the news. Television pisses me off! I was watching it tonight and they only showed a blurb about the terrible situation in Taiiwan. Over ten thousand people have died, and yet their top stories are about the day after Christmas shopping sprees and markdown sales, and which hills are best for sledding!! What a frickin' load of crap!
If that disaster had been in the U.S., you would see nothing but that devestation on every channel. No wonder so many people outside the U.S. hate Americans. I know that people care, so why then does the news have to be so idiotic and protray us like uncaring selfish morons! I am insulted! I am not saying that it should be glamorized, but give me a break. At the very least have it as the top story, and provide the public with information about how to help or something useful! No one should give a rats rear about the day after Giftmas sales events when so many people are in such distress and pain!
If that disaster had been in the U.S., you would see nothing but that devestation on every channel. No wonder so many people outside the U.S. hate Americans. I know that people care, so why then does the news have to be so idiotic and protray us like uncaring selfish morons! I am insulted! I am not saying that it should be glamorized, but give me a break. At the very least have it as the top story, and provide the public with information about how to help or something useful! No one should give a rats rear about the day after Giftmas sales events when so many people are in such distress and pain!
Wisdom and baseball bats
Funny how things in life always look better initially or look more in perspective in hindsight. It really pisses me off when I think about the mistakes I have made, and how dumb I have been in the past. But then I am thankful for the lessons that they have taught me...isn't that ironic?!
I often wonder if the mistakes we make, dictate the outcome of our future events. For instance, relationships. If we don't start off good in a relationship, does that mean it won't ever find a way to be good? God being all, knowing all (past and present)...knows which choice we will make. Why then should I be angry about the outcome I recieve, from some obscure lesson God is trying to teach me? Shouldn't I be thankful?! But truth be told, I am usually pissed off for not getting my way and act like a spoiled frickin' brat. I want my way. I want my needs to be met...and when "my needs" aren't what God knows them to be...I act like a punk...why?! I should be more committed to him, and more content of his sovereignty.
Sometimes though, I wish God would just hit me over the head with his wisdom, instead of the quiet whispers in which it is endowed. I would spend so much less time in inner turmoil about things that I don't get my way about. It kind of reminds me of the time I got hit with a bat in the face. I mean the time I got hit in the face with a baseball bat...I knew it hurt...I didn't need to get hit in the head to know that...but it confirmed the living crap out of the "wisdom" that a baseball bat to the face hurts. I often feel like I "know" things but I need to get hit in the face with it to really "KNOW" the wisdom behind it.
I often wonder if the mistakes we make, dictate the outcome of our future events. For instance, relationships. If we don't start off good in a relationship, does that mean it won't ever find a way to be good? God being all, knowing all (past and present)...knows which choice we will make. Why then should I be angry about the outcome I recieve, from some obscure lesson God is trying to teach me? Shouldn't I be thankful?! But truth be told, I am usually pissed off for not getting my way and act like a spoiled frickin' brat. I want my way. I want my needs to be met...and when "my needs" aren't what God knows them to be...I act like a punk...why?! I should be more committed to him, and more content of his sovereignty.
Sometimes though, I wish God would just hit me over the head with his wisdom, instead of the quiet whispers in which it is endowed. I would spend so much less time in inner turmoil about things that I don't get my way about. It kind of reminds me of the time I got hit with a bat in the face. I mean the time I got hit in the face with a baseball bat...I knew it hurt...I didn't need to get hit in the head to know that...but it confirmed the living crap out of the "wisdom" that a baseball bat to the face hurts. I often feel like I "know" things but I need to get hit in the face with it to really "KNOW" the wisdom behind it.
Wednesday, December 15, 2004
Close call
So I am driving home from "time wit da family" and a little voice in my head tells me to slow down at a green light near the Mason Meijers store. So I listen to the voice....which is so not typical of me....and I catch a blurr out of the corner of my eye.....
I slam on the breaks to watch a car fly through the red light going about 50MPH. I would've hit him corner to corner....I only missed him by like ten feet. The driver never even hit his brakes to slow down...just flew through the red light. I got home and was a little shaken...I have had close calls before, but never going that fast....thank you God for the still small quiet voice in my head!
I slam on the breaks to watch a car fly through the red light going about 50MPH. I would've hit him corner to corner....I only missed him by like ten feet. The driver never even hit his brakes to slow down...just flew through the red light. I got home and was a little shaken...I have had close calls before, but never going that fast....thank you God for the still small quiet voice in my head!
Family Fun!
So tonight I felt like I was part of the Sopranos! or maybe in a bad version of the Godfather movies. I went Christmas shopping with my father, his two brothers, and my little old grandmother.
You see...they made me an offer I couldn't refuse..."free dinner" :op
I come from an Italian background on my pop's side of the family. My grandmother was first generation born US. Her father was from Palermo, Sicily (Italy). He was a rum runner for the mob in Detroit (or so the story goes). No one knows for sure...but you can definately tell my family is Italian. It was so funny...three men in the back and one in the front (with Grams riding "shotgun")....It must have looked even funnier. I laughed the entire night...those guys crack me up. My grandma only had three boys...and I am the only grandson....so I am kind of like the little brother in that group!
They have the talk and the walk of the typical Italian man. No greasy hair, but the isms of Italian talk like "how ya doin'?" and "watcha lookin' at?"....like I said it is hillarious! We had fun and laughed the night away...got to spend quality time with Grandma too...what a shop'aholic!
You see...they made me an offer I couldn't refuse..."free dinner" :op
I come from an Italian background on my pop's side of the family. My grandmother was first generation born US. Her father was from Palermo, Sicily (Italy). He was a rum runner for the mob in Detroit (or so the story goes). No one knows for sure...but you can definately tell my family is Italian. It was so funny...three men in the back and one in the front (with Grams riding "shotgun")....It must have looked even funnier. I laughed the entire night...those guys crack me up. My grandma only had three boys...and I am the only grandson....so I am kind of like the little brother in that group!
They have the talk and the walk of the typical Italian man. No greasy hair, but the isms of Italian talk like "how ya doin'?" and "watcha lookin' at?"....like I said it is hillarious! We had fun and laughed the night away...got to spend quality time with Grandma too...what a shop'aholic!
Thursday, December 09, 2004
Victory
Last night I experienced something cool...a victory in a high stakes wrestling match. I was so proud of our wrestlers, but I couldn't help but think about how very short glory lasts. And the glory that I felt was directed inward and it should've been reflected to God. What a challenge...
You see as an athlete I think I did a good job of giving God the glory....now I am in charge...and yet I am not in charge...God is...so how can I show my team and wrestlers this difficult task? Glory fades...but God doesn't...I want to be a good leader to my boys on the team. I want to teach them about things that last forever, not just a glimmer. I want to see them shine in success and in life, knowing that God loves them. Knowing that I care about them.
You see as an athlete I think I did a good job of giving God the glory....now I am in charge...and yet I am not in charge...God is...so how can I show my team and wrestlers this difficult task? Glory fades...but God doesn't...I want to be a good leader to my boys on the team. I want to teach them about things that last forever, not just a glimmer. I want to see them shine in success and in life, knowing that God loves them. Knowing that I care about them.
Monday, December 06, 2004
I talk too much...or do I? :o)
So I was sitting here relaxing...thinking about life. I do that way too much I am told...I am too serious about it or something ;o) But I couldn't help wonder, why it is so hard to just sit and relax...I mean...I start feeling guilty or something if I am not busy doing stuff.
A friend of mine said I talk too much...and they are probably right. It drives some people nuts! I guess that is why I don't listen enough...too busy talking :op So today I tried to just relax and be silent...which of course for me is hard. It's the ADHD in me...or whatever I guess. But today I relaxed for the first time in awhile...reflecting on stuff. Stuff like my priorities...what do I believe...where am I going...then I started talking about things to myself in my head(talking too much again)....
Of course...that made me not relax...so I just tried to blank out and listen to my kittens purr and pet my dog. But a thought hit me...kind of like a brick over the head. It was a little random really, but really made me think. Another friend of mine and I had a conversation, and I asked that friend of mine, not to long ago, about "What do you believe in?" "What do you have faith in?"
-"God" they said!
So being my talkative self...I asked another question "What has your faith/belief made you change about your life I asked?"
-"nothing much I guess...."
Trying not to be too forward I asked "What has your faith/belief made you do?"
-"Stuff!"...I was starting to annoy them...
So then...you believe/have faith in God...which you don't know how it's changed your life, and that has made you do stuff....WOW...really sound like you have a strong faith/belief there....strong faith! (I thought this to myself...cuz I wanted to ask some more questions!)
Then I asked a new question...similar to the first....
"Do you believe/have faith in money?"
~"I guess..." they said
What has your belief/faith in $$$ made you do?
~"Get a job...to pay bills, buy things, eat, etc, etc"
Hmmm...what has it done to change aspects of your life?
~"I have to budget it, I got an education to get a job to make it, search for a career, etc., etc.
So I asked my friend..."which do you have more faith in based on your response? God or Money?" They kind of were shocked...
Now I know my friend very well...and I know they have a strong faith in God. But expressing their faith in God was so much harder to do than explaining their faith in money. Do we live our lives like that? Does our faith show through to others? Or are we fitting into culture, living our faith in earthly things rather than Godly ones? These questions challenged me to think and reflect about how I live...am I living in faith....and what proof do I have that I am doing so?
A friend of mine said I talk too much...and they are probably right. It drives some people nuts! I guess that is why I don't listen enough...too busy talking :op So today I tried to just relax and be silent...which of course for me is hard. It's the ADHD in me...or whatever I guess. But today I relaxed for the first time in awhile...reflecting on stuff. Stuff like my priorities...what do I believe...where am I going...then I started talking about things to myself in my head(talking too much again)....
Of course...that made me not relax...so I just tried to blank out and listen to my kittens purr and pet my dog. But a thought hit me...kind of like a brick over the head. It was a little random really, but really made me think. Another friend of mine and I had a conversation, and I asked that friend of mine, not to long ago, about "What do you believe in?" "What do you have faith in?"
-"God" they said!
So being my talkative self...I asked another question "What has your faith/belief made you change about your life I asked?"
-"nothing much I guess...."
Trying not to be too forward I asked "What has your faith/belief made you do?"
-"Stuff!"...I was starting to annoy them...
So then...you believe/have faith in God...which you don't know how it's changed your life, and that has made you do stuff....WOW...really sound like you have a strong faith/belief there....strong faith! (I thought this to myself...cuz I wanted to ask some more questions!)
Then I asked a new question...similar to the first....
"Do you believe/have faith in money?"
~"I guess..." they said
What has your belief/faith in $$$ made you do?
~"Get a job...to pay bills, buy things, eat, etc, etc"
Hmmm...what has it done to change aspects of your life?
~"I have to budget it, I got an education to get a job to make it, search for a career, etc., etc.
So I asked my friend..."which do you have more faith in based on your response? God or Money?" They kind of were shocked...
Now I know my friend very well...and I know they have a strong faith in God. But expressing their faith in God was so much harder to do than explaining their faith in money. Do we live our lives like that? Does our faith show through to others? Or are we fitting into culture, living our faith in earthly things rather than Godly ones? These questions challenged me to think and reflect about how I live...am I living in faith....and what proof do I have that I am doing so?
Wednesday, December 01, 2004
Good friend...short time....
A few months back I met this guy name Kris...he was a cool guy. We had a lot in common. He liked cars, going fast, racing, and the list goes on. He was a little older than me, but we kind of struck it off...starting talking cars and motors (gearhead talk). He was of course a mechanic. http://www.eandip.com/443732.html
He was funny, and a nice guy...oh ya...and a good mechanic when it comes to making a car go faster. That is why I came to him in the first place...for his expert advice. I asked him if he could get my performance parts to work correctly...and of course he agreed...that is how our friendship began.
.........Last week I heard some terrible news......Kris died on his way to work via a 20 year old drunk driver...Kristofir Enniss passed away Saturday, November 20, 2004...I guess I am still in shock...I mean Kris and I were only friends for a short while...but I liked Kris, we could've been really good friends! Good friends are hard to find...and that makes me sad...and angry...cheated out of a good friendship!
I know God has his plans, but I want to know what they are somedays...like that day I heard about Kris. I just pray that God will be with Kris's wife, his friends, his family...give them peace, and comfort.
http://www.mitchellfuneral.com/Obits.html
http://www.lansingstatejournal.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20041125/NEWS01/411250336&SearchID=73191678148005
He was funny, and a nice guy...oh ya...and a good mechanic when it comes to making a car go faster. That is why I came to him in the first place...for his expert advice. I asked him if he could get my performance parts to work correctly...and of course he agreed...that is how our friendship began.
.........Last week I heard some terrible news......Kris died on his way to work via a 20 year old drunk driver...Kristofir Enniss passed away Saturday, November 20, 2004...I guess I am still in shock...I mean Kris and I were only friends for a short while...but I liked Kris, we could've been really good friends! Good friends are hard to find...and that makes me sad...and angry...cheated out of a good friendship!
I know God has his plans, but I want to know what they are somedays...like that day I heard about Kris. I just pray that God will be with Kris's wife, his friends, his family...give them peace, and comfort.
http://www.mitchellfuneral.com/Obits.html
http://www.lansingstatejournal.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20041125/NEWS01/411250336&SearchID=73191678148005
Wednesday, November 24, 2004
Monday, November 22, 2004
Am I old?
Ok...so back when I was a kid...... 
Man is this kid adorable or what!?
Man you know you are getting old when you start saying things like that to high school students. As some of you may know I am a High School Art Teacher and the JV Wrestling coach for Mason High School. http://scnc.mason.k12.mi.us/
That is exactly what I said to some of my kids at school today...man did it make me feel old. Another thing is when they think that the eighties and nineties were eons ago! I show my age when I start jamming to Def leopard or some DJ Jazzy Jeff & the Fresh Prince...HAHAHA! The kids get a laugh out of it. But hey...it is me! Actually I think my students think it is "cool" to be so down to earth with them...be a real person.
But back to me feeling old....it is intriguing to me that I think I am somewhere between the ages of 15-18 years old, but in reality I am the ripe old age of 26. Now that might not seem that old, but some days when I get home I feel like I am 90. I am sore and whipped from wrestling those young pups. What is worse is that I can't let them know it...cuz then they would rag on me :o) Even so, man am I sore!
Hey if anyone is interested in watching me coach...we are wrestling Lakewood at MSU (Jenison Fieldhouse) on Wednesday Dec. 8 at 9:30 PM...Admission is free! http://www.masonwrestling.com/dual.htm
Man is this kid adorable or what!?
Man you know you are getting old when you start saying things like that to high school students. As some of you may know I am a High School Art Teacher and the JV Wrestling coach for Mason High School. http://scnc.mason.k12.mi.us/
That is exactly what I said to some of my kids at school today...man did it make me feel old. Another thing is when they think that the eighties and nineties were eons ago! I show my age when I start jamming to Def leopard or some DJ Jazzy Jeff & the Fresh Prince...HAHAHA! The kids get a laugh out of it. But hey...it is me! Actually I think my students think it is "cool" to be so down to earth with them...be a real person.
But back to me feeling old....it is intriguing to me that I think I am somewhere between the ages of 15-18 years old, but in reality I am the ripe old age of 26. Now that might not seem that old, but some days when I get home I feel like I am 90. I am sore and whipped from wrestling those young pups. What is worse is that I can't let them know it...cuz then they would rag on me :o) Even so, man am I sore!
Hey if anyone is interested in watching me coach...we are wrestling Lakewood at MSU (Jenison Fieldhouse) on Wednesday Dec. 8 at 9:30 PM...Admission is free! http://www.masonwrestling.com/dual.htm
Friday, November 12, 2004
Something different
I was wondering today about relationships. What God thinks about my relationships with other people. Sometimes I feel pretty good about my interactions with other people...other times I don't! I know Jesus wants us to love our neighbors...that was his #1 commandment. But what does that look like? Everyday God puts an image of himself in our lives....they are the other people around us...
That made me think...
So if the other people around us are images of God...why do I sometimes treat other people like garbage? I am Christian....so therefore I know the role God wants me to play...I know the example I should be setting...why do I have such a hard time then doing it on a consistant basis?
The reason...
I could say..."Well I am not perfect"...but I feel that is a cop out! I think the real reason is that I am selfish...and lazy. I don't want to put myself out there....so I hide behind my computer telling my feelings to no one...or everyone...depends how you look at it. I want to be part of the bride of Christ...beautiful and radiant...not bruised and battered. Just some food for thought.
That made me think...
So if the other people around us are images of God...why do I sometimes treat other people like garbage? I am Christian....so therefore I know the role God wants me to play...I know the example I should be setting...why do I have such a hard time then doing it on a consistant basis?
The reason...
I could say..."Well I am not perfect"...but I feel that is a cop out! I think the real reason is that I am selfish...and lazy. I don't want to put myself out there....so I hide behind my computer telling my feelings to no one...or everyone...depends how you look at it. I want to be part of the bride of Christ...beautiful and radiant...not bruised and battered. Just some food for thought.
Thursday, November 04, 2004
Do I pray right?
Ok so a friend and I were talking, and we dicussed how we prayed. We both noticed that we tend to say things like: "Lord please give me the strength, Lord allow me to love like you want me to, Lord please give me wisdom, etc." Is there something wrong with those kind of prayers?
If God is our ROCK, our SALVATION, our EVERYTHING...then maybe there is an issue. We both noticed that those prayers don't put the emphasis on God but on ourselves...(i.e. Lord give "ME")...in otherwords Lord I can do it if only....where is the reliance on God?
How then should I pray? Maybe it should be something more like this..."Lord be my strength, Lord be my love, Lord be my wisdom or Lord let my wisdom be in you, etc." I know it may be a symmantic issue, but we decided that the way we pray can reveal our unconcious heart. Who we want in control...God or us. Lord BE!...not only Lord Be in my life....BUT.....Lord Be my life!
Die to ourselves to live for God and let him be in charge! Shouldn't we show God that in the way we pray too!?
If God is our ROCK, our SALVATION, our EVERYTHING...then maybe there is an issue. We both noticed that those prayers don't put the emphasis on God but on ourselves...(i.e. Lord give "ME")...in otherwords Lord I can do it if only....where is the reliance on God?
How then should I pray? Maybe it should be something more like this..."Lord be my strength, Lord be my love, Lord be my wisdom or Lord let my wisdom be in you, etc." I know it may be a symmantic issue, but we decided that the way we pray can reveal our unconcious heart. Who we want in control...God or us. Lord BE!...not only Lord Be in my life....BUT.....Lord Be my life!
Die to ourselves to live for God and let him be in charge! Shouldn't we show God that in the way we pray too!?
Monday, November 01, 2004
The Big Game
Sorry State fans, but it was the BIG HOUSE! Actually MSU should've won that game. Sometimes it just pays to be lucky...just ask TJ Duckett! :o)
Wednesday, October 20, 2004
Haunted House?
Ok....so here comes a long blog. And believe it or not...it is actually true! Today I had the previous owner of the house visit me, but before I talk about that...let me tell you a story...
So this past summer something strange happened to me at my house. About two weeks prior to the incident, the power company sent a letter out to Mason residents to inform them of a temporary power outage for the city grid. It would start about 11pm and last until early sometime the next morning while they checked their systems or something like that. Sure enough we lose power, so I go to bed about the same time the power goes out...11ish!
Knock! Knock! Knock!.....I wake up to a loud knocking at my front door. I get up...check my cell phone...it's 3:00AM or so. Stumble out of bed into the pitch blackness. Open my bedroom door and look at the front door to see a figure in a hat silouetted by moonlight on my front porch. I figure it's either the power company or my roommate. So I stumble my way to the door and open the door. As I look up....no one is there! Strange....I swear I just saw someone. I peer down the the sidewalk from left to right. Still no one...just an eerie moonlit lifeless stillness. It's almost like a dream. No streetlights...house lights...nothing...just the big bright moon casting some crazy shadows all around.
Then some loud footsteps behind me....
I turn around and I look through my french doors into the dark dinning room...
From the moonlight coming in from the back window I can see someone. There is someone on the other side of the dinning room table. Thinking it is my roommate coming home late, I start yelling at him. "WHY do you have to be so frickin' loud. You have a key...why did you have to wake me up by knocking?" I proceed through the doors ranting and raving about waking me up. I push open the glass doors...nothing there!!!! So I run upstairs ...and there is my roommate sound asleep....so I run back to my room...trying my best to not totally freak out. Eventually I fall asleep without wetting the bed. The next day I tell my story and everyone thinks I was just seeing things because I was tired...but what was the loud knock and the footsteps?! THE END
Now it's half a year later...construction is finally finished...kitchen and back room are mostly remodeled...and I get a visit from the previous owner of the house tonight. She and I talk and I show her the remodeling I have down...she is amazed....I smile. We talk. She then pauses and asks...
"Can I ask you something? Has anything strange ever happened while you have lived here?".......so I tell her my story....her response....
"Was the figure wearing a straw hat?".....I pause....thinking...oh my gosh....it was a straw hat!!!! How did you know?
Well...I saw him a few times when I lived here....everyone thought I was crazy...even my husband at first. Then we talked about some other strange things that have happened to each of us....both of us have labs and they both barked at the same walls in the house (WALLS not out the window...like something is in the walls)...for no appearent reason. I chaulked it up to my dog is just goofy...but she started telling me the exact locations in the house and that is exactly where my dog would go nuts sometimes. Same exact places her dogs use to go nuts!
"have you ever had a glass just break in your hands?" She asks....."it happened to me several times"
My response..."ya but they were old glasses....." I would set them down and they would just crack apart or shatter.....I figured they were just old...right?! By this time I start to question if my house really might be haunted....it was built in the late 1800's. But I don't believe in ghosts!....evil spirits and demons...but ghosts?!
There was another thing...she says...have you ever heard voices?
"Luckily...I have not!" I reply
"What about things being moved unexpectedly or falling off of the shelves?
She had given me some things they had found when they remodeled the living room...some 1890's newspapers (now in frames), an old button, and a bullet that was lodged in the wall...I use to keep it on the mantle of the fireplace...and I would oftern find it on the floor or sill of the fire place...I could never figure out why...so I mentioned that to her also.
Her Response..."We had a shelve about your TV with picture of my decesed father...and letter blocks that spelled out L O V E. They would be moved all the time....then one day...we were sitting there...and one by one the pictures and blocks fell off the shelve and then CRASH! The shelve itself falls."
I turn a little white.......pausing....I walk over to the TV and pick up a letter block sculpture made from old print blocks glued together that reads Faith (on top) Hope (in the middle) and LOVE (one the bottom). And the LOVE blocks were broken....from falling off of the TV. Now I have kittens and a dog...but the sculpture use to end up on the floor all the time before the kittys. I fixed the LOVE letter many times with glue, but they always end up on the floor and broken. I just figured the dog did it by bumping into the TV...but now I am questioning sound reason!"
Long story short...it may have been possessed?! (the house that is) I don't know...but some friends and I prayed about it after the incident with the figure I thought I saw ...and it was about the same time I finished up most of the reconstruction....I haven't had any weird things happen since....it has been a good 6 months I tell her. The only thing that still happens is the dog barking...but he's a dog...they bark right!?
Jesus is powerful...and even if something were up with the house....I know GOD is protecting me....and whatever thing or nothing that was there is gone because of GOD and prayer.
So this past summer something strange happened to me at my house. About two weeks prior to the incident, the power company sent a letter out to Mason residents to inform them of a temporary power outage for the city grid. It would start about 11pm and last until early sometime the next morning while they checked their systems or something like that. Sure enough we lose power, so I go to bed about the same time the power goes out...11ish!
Knock! Knock! Knock!.....I wake up to a loud knocking at my front door. I get up...check my cell phone...it's 3:00AM or so. Stumble out of bed into the pitch blackness. Open my bedroom door and look at the front door to see a figure in a hat silouetted by moonlight on my front porch. I figure it's either the power company or my roommate. So I stumble my way to the door and open the door. As I look up....no one is there! Strange....I swear I just saw someone. I peer down the the sidewalk from left to right. Still no one...just an eerie moonlit lifeless stillness. It's almost like a dream. No streetlights...house lights...nothing...just the big bright moon casting some crazy shadows all around.
Then some loud footsteps behind me....
I turn around and I look through my french doors into the dark dinning room...
From the moonlight coming in from the back window I can see someone. There is someone on the other side of the dinning room table. Thinking it is my roommate coming home late, I start yelling at him. "WHY do you have to be so frickin' loud. You have a key...why did you have to wake me up by knocking?" I proceed through the doors ranting and raving about waking me up. I push open the glass doors...nothing there!!!! So I run upstairs ...and there is my roommate sound asleep....so I run back to my room...trying my best to not totally freak out. Eventually I fall asleep without wetting the bed. The next day I tell my story and everyone thinks I was just seeing things because I was tired...but what was the loud knock and the footsteps?! THE END
Now it's half a year later...construction is finally finished...kitchen and back room are mostly remodeled...and I get a visit from the previous owner of the house tonight. She and I talk and I show her the remodeling I have down...she is amazed....I smile. We talk. She then pauses and asks...
"Can I ask you something? Has anything strange ever happened while you have lived here?".......so I tell her my story....her response....
"Was the figure wearing a straw hat?".....I pause....thinking...oh my gosh....it was a straw hat!!!! How did you know?
Well...I saw him a few times when I lived here....everyone thought I was crazy...even my husband at first. Then we talked about some other strange things that have happened to each of us....both of us have labs and they both barked at the same walls in the house (WALLS not out the window...like something is in the walls)...for no appearent reason. I chaulked it up to my dog is just goofy...but she started telling me the exact locations in the house and that is exactly where my dog would go nuts sometimes. Same exact places her dogs use to go nuts!
"have you ever had a glass just break in your hands?" She asks....."it happened to me several times"
My response..."ya but they were old glasses....." I would set them down and they would just crack apart or shatter.....I figured they were just old...right?! By this time I start to question if my house really might be haunted....it was built in the late 1800's. But I don't believe in ghosts!....evil spirits and demons...but ghosts?!
There was another thing...she says...have you ever heard voices?
"Luckily...I have not!" I reply
"What about things being moved unexpectedly or falling off of the shelves?
She had given me some things they had found when they remodeled the living room...some 1890's newspapers (now in frames), an old button, and a bullet that was lodged in the wall...I use to keep it on the mantle of the fireplace...and I would oftern find it on the floor or sill of the fire place...I could never figure out why...so I mentioned that to her also.
Her Response..."We had a shelve about your TV with picture of my decesed father...and letter blocks that spelled out L O V E. They would be moved all the time....then one day...we were sitting there...and one by one the pictures and blocks fell off the shelve and then CRASH! The shelve itself falls."
I turn a little white.......pausing....I walk over to the TV and pick up a letter block sculpture made from old print blocks glued together that reads Faith (on top) Hope (in the middle) and LOVE (one the bottom). And the LOVE blocks were broken....from falling off of the TV. Now I have kittens and a dog...but the sculpture use to end up on the floor all the time before the kittys. I fixed the LOVE letter many times with glue, but they always end up on the floor and broken. I just figured the dog did it by bumping into the TV...but now I am questioning sound reason!"
Long story short...it may have been possessed?! (the house that is) I don't know...but some friends and I prayed about it after the incident with the figure I thought I saw ...and it was about the same time I finished up most of the reconstruction....I haven't had any weird things happen since....it has been a good 6 months I tell her. The only thing that still happens is the dog barking...but he's a dog...they bark right!?
Jesus is powerful...and even if something were up with the house....I know GOD is protecting me....and whatever thing or nothing that was there is gone because of GOD and prayer.
Monday, October 18, 2004
Powderpuff
Ok....so a friend I teach with and myself are coaching the Junior class powderpuff football team...we play tomarrow by the way. Girls are so much smarter than boys...they can memorize the plays faster....it is kind of fun!
Anyway...long story short...I was spying on the Seniors today and the other coaches sent a player over to ask if I was Mr. Corr while I was sitting in my warm truck watching them freeze at practice....of course I had to lie....which was hard to do with a straight face. She went back and told her coaches...whom I teach with....that it wasn't me....so they sent her back to varify. Again I lied....and laughed so hard as she went back to tell her coaches. Man, I thought everyone knew me at the high school...but I guess I was wrong. Now she is going to think I am a lier though. I convinced a senior that I was someone else....and not spying on their plays. We will probably loose now because I lied to her...hahaha! Now I am a big fat liar!
Anyway...long story short...I was spying on the Seniors today and the other coaches sent a player over to ask if I was Mr. Corr while I was sitting in my warm truck watching them freeze at practice....of course I had to lie....which was hard to do with a straight face. She went back and told her coaches...whom I teach with....that it wasn't me....so they sent her back to varify. Again I lied....and laughed so hard as she went back to tell her coaches. Man, I thought everyone knew me at the high school...but I guess I was wrong. Now she is going to think I am a lier though. I convinced a senior that I was someone else....and not spying on their plays. We will probably loose now because I lied to her...hahaha! Now I am a big fat liar!
Sunday, October 10, 2004
The Good and Bad
So a friend and I were talking today and I realized that I only seem to post when life is getting me down. Just thought I would throw it out there that I do have good days :o)
I am planning on updating this blog site with some other cool stuff within the next couple of weeks...so keep looking for updates...they will be coming.
Something good....
Well, I have two cool kittens...and an awsome dog! They keep me company most of the time. Actually it is kinda wierd because I am not really a cat lover. I actually didn't even like cats that much till I got mine. Sometimes they are a pain, but they are usually more fun than a pain. They are very friendly, and they kind of remind me of my dog. Speaking of which, my dog was actually the one who picked them out as strange as that sounds. So, I guess they are cats that act more like dogs...and that is why I like them. ;o)
you see...this is why I don't write more about good and happy stuff...it just sounds so corny! Nothing deep involved in it. Although, I find that when I ask myself why about the crumby stuff that goes on in my life...God returns the question to me asking why I don't question the good stuff too? Cuz really...what have I done that deserves special treatment from God? Nothing, we are all sinners and fall short of His glory...so if I am going to question something...I should probably question everything :op
I am planning on updating this blog site with some other cool stuff within the next couple of weeks...so keep looking for updates...they will be coming.
Something good....
Well, I have two cool kittens...and an awsome dog! They keep me company most of the time. Actually it is kinda wierd because I am not really a cat lover. I actually didn't even like cats that much till I got mine. Sometimes they are a pain, but they are usually more fun than a pain. They are very friendly, and they kind of remind me of my dog. Speaking of which, my dog was actually the one who picked them out as strange as that sounds. So, I guess they are cats that act more like dogs...and that is why I like them. ;o)
you see...this is why I don't write more about good and happy stuff...it just sounds so corny! Nothing deep involved in it. Although, I find that when I ask myself why about the crumby stuff that goes on in my life...God returns the question to me asking why I don't question the good stuff too? Cuz really...what have I done that deserves special treatment from God? Nothing, we are all sinners and fall short of His glory...so if I am going to question something...I should probably question everything :op
Tuesday, October 05, 2004
It's been awhile
Ok...so I haven't written in awhile....and I guess we could say things are still kind of the same for me. My life sometimes seems like a bad country song. People die, friends leave, my car still doesn't run...etc. etc. But there isn't all bad in everything. I mean I still terribly miss my best friend, whom I still am lucky enough to converse with. I miss the way things were in my life, but hope in God to make things better. Things will get better...if not in this life time, then in heaven.
On a different note....
I have noticed also that I really wish that I could be less sensitive about somethings. I hate feelings sometimes and wish I were like a strong a steady western hero, riding into the sunset instead of an over emotional "artist". But God makes us who we are for a reason, and I have begun to see somewhat of why I am who I am.
I believe that God is in control (whether we sense it or not), and everything happens for a purpose. That purpose may be to guide our next move in life, or to find a hidden fault, or to simply honor God's work. I mean look at Pharoh and how God allowed him to have all that power, just so he could demonstrate HIS own majesty by Pharoh's downfall. Teaching students gives me a lot of influence and power too...but I don't want to be like Pharoh. I have found that I can reach kids by being who I am. Kids that normally don't feel loved. I mean don't get me wrong...I am still a man...and I am not always sensitive when I should be. But I have noticed that number of students begin to increase around my room just to "hang out". Is God giving me my own outreach right there at school? I think he may...now I just hope I can be more like Moses and help "rescue" God's people from the wickedness of our social diseases.
God let me be your hands and your feet. Let me not to be afraid, but instead embrace troubled times with a servants heart. Let me serve and not be a demander. Allow me to grow in your wisdom, strength, mercy, and spirit. Keep me from falling and straying far from that path which you have chosen me to walk. Allow me to love my enemies, and neighbors as you would want me to love them. Let me produce good fruit for your harvest....Amen!
On a different note....
I have noticed also that I really wish that I could be less sensitive about somethings. I hate feelings sometimes and wish I were like a strong a steady western hero, riding into the sunset instead of an over emotional "artist". But God makes us who we are for a reason, and I have begun to see somewhat of why I am who I am.
I believe that God is in control (whether we sense it or not), and everything happens for a purpose. That purpose may be to guide our next move in life, or to find a hidden fault, or to simply honor God's work. I mean look at Pharoh and how God allowed him to have all that power, just so he could demonstrate HIS own majesty by Pharoh's downfall. Teaching students gives me a lot of influence and power too...but I don't want to be like Pharoh. I have found that I can reach kids by being who I am. Kids that normally don't feel loved. I mean don't get me wrong...I am still a man...and I am not always sensitive when I should be. But I have noticed that number of students begin to increase around my room just to "hang out". Is God giving me my own outreach right there at school? I think he may...now I just hope I can be more like Moses and help "rescue" God's people from the wickedness of our social diseases.
God let me be your hands and your feet. Let me not to be afraid, but instead embrace troubled times with a servants heart. Let me serve and not be a demander. Allow me to grow in your wisdom, strength, mercy, and spirit. Keep me from falling and straying far from that path which you have chosen me to walk. Allow me to love my enemies, and neighbors as you would want me to love them. Let me produce good fruit for your harvest....Amen!
Sunday, September 19, 2004
Hardship
I am still freakin sick. Three days on meds and I still feel like crap! Think I am going to call the Dr. tomarrow and see what's up.
On a different note...
Some of my friends are going through some really tough times right now...and I want them to know that I will pray for them. Also sometimes it really puts lifes problems in perspective, when someone you know is going through something really really crappy. Not that our own problems aren't there anymore, but compassion for another person can put some(feeling sick in my case) out of mind for awhile.
I wonder sometimes what God thinks when other people are hurting or even when I am. I know he loves me, and I know he cares. I tend to think that he is crying right there with us in our pain, with his arms ready to wrap us in his comfort.
On a different note...
Some of my friends are going through some really tough times right now...and I want them to know that I will pray for them. Also sometimes it really puts lifes problems in perspective, when someone you know is going through something really really crappy. Not that our own problems aren't there anymore, but compassion for another person can put some(feeling sick in my case) out of mind for awhile.
I wonder sometimes what God thinks when other people are hurting or even when I am. I know he loves me, and I know he cares. I tend to think that he is crying right there with us in our pain, with his arms ready to wrap us in his comfort.
Thursday, September 16, 2004
Today's the day!
Ok, so I am official now 26. Typical Birthday so far...it's raining and I woke up not feeling good.
Hopefully it does nothing but get better from here...right!
Hopefully it does nothing but get better from here...right!
Tuesday, September 14, 2004
Turning 26
I am gaining a new year on my life this Thursday, and I realized that I am probably close to 1/3 the way through my life. I couldn't help but wonder if God looks down and sees someone who he is pleased with or disappointed in? I know either was nothing I can do will get me into heaven...that is by His Grace alone. Jesus always has kept his promises, and one of them is if we believe (really honestly believe) in Him and who he said he was, then he would save a room for us!
A friend of mine lives his life for other people 99% of the time. He is a definate servant of God. He is one of those rare harvesters Jesus talks about. I pray that God picks me to be the same way...deep down that is what I want...to serve God and love my neighbor. Hopefully for these next 2/3 or 3/4 of my years I have left I can live like that! Live like Jesus. :o)
A friend of mine lives his life for other people 99% of the time. He is a definate servant of God. He is one of those rare harvesters Jesus talks about. I pray that God picks me to be the same way...deep down that is what I want...to serve God and love my neighbor. Hopefully for these next 2/3 or 3/4 of my years I have left I can live like that! Live like Jesus. :o)
Thursday, September 09, 2004
Same as yesterday...
Nothing new...same as the other day.... My quote of the day comes from a book that I am sure many of my blogging friend know about or have read....Blue like Jazz
"I will love God because he first loved me. I will obey God becuase I love God. But if I cannot accept God's love, I cannot love Him in return, and I cannot obey Him. Self-discipline will never make us feel rightous or clean; accepting God's love will. The ability to accept God's unconditional grace and ferocious love is all the fuel we need to obey him in return. Accepting God's kindness and free love is something the devil does not want to do. If we hear, in our inner ear, a voice saying we are failures, we are losers, we will never amount to anything, this is the voice of Satan trying to convince the bride that the groom does not love her. This is not the voice of God. God woos us with kindness, He changes our character with the passion of His love."
This is what I am feeling and dealing with in my life.
"I will love God because he first loved me. I will obey God becuase I love God. But if I cannot accept God's love, I cannot love Him in return, and I cannot obey Him. Self-discipline will never make us feel rightous or clean; accepting God's love will. The ability to accept God's unconditional grace and ferocious love is all the fuel we need to obey him in return. Accepting God's kindness and free love is something the devil does not want to do. If we hear, in our inner ear, a voice saying we are failures, we are losers, we will never amount to anything, this is the voice of Satan trying to convince the bride that the groom does not love her. This is not the voice of God. God woos us with kindness, He changes our character with the passion of His love."
This is what I am feeling and dealing with in my life.
Wednesday, September 08, 2004
There's an old saying...
There's an old saying that states if you love something, let it go....blah blah blah...if it comes back it was yours to keep. Well most times lately I feel that whoever said that never let go of something they cherished and adored and loved.....cuz that statement sucks.
They never mentioned anything about the pain, or feeling lost, or the rest hard stuff that results from letting go. If you think I am lying try letting go of something you really really love and still have the faith in God to have control. It is UNREAL SCARY! I mean most of the time you feel ok, but there are those moments where you feel like you are getting flushed down the toilet bowl and you'll never make it back to the surface.
Thankfully, I know that God is only going to let me get sucked down so far before he finally throws me that floatation device and I see what his plan was. Right now...having trouble seeing, thinking, and hoping clearly about just exactly that might be.
It's not the being alone that scares me, but the times where I have to sit and listen to the silence and my stupid carnal nature takes over. Which causes me to be angry, spiteful, hateful, and maybe even dreadful. None of which demonstrates my reliance on God...why? I know that God has a plan for each and every one of us....so why do I have moments of doubt? God is in control!
A friend once told me...."Joey, it takes a lot of manure to grow a beautiful rose garden!" I think he may have been right. The more "manure" that is dumped on my life, the more I see that garden grow later on. So in a way, I guess I am thankful to God for trusting in me to handle so much poop! I got a great life, with a loving family, a few good friends, a great job, and my dog and kittens....so what more would I need right? God has always provided (big or small), so why when I let go do I feel like my feet will stumble?
They never mentioned anything about the pain, or feeling lost, or the rest hard stuff that results from letting go. If you think I am lying try letting go of something you really really love and still have the faith in God to have control. It is UNREAL SCARY! I mean most of the time you feel ok, but there are those moments where you feel like you are getting flushed down the toilet bowl and you'll never make it back to the surface.
Thankfully, I know that God is only going to let me get sucked down so far before he finally throws me that floatation device and I see what his plan was. Right now...having trouble seeing, thinking, and hoping clearly about just exactly that might be.
It's not the being alone that scares me, but the times where I have to sit and listen to the silence and my stupid carnal nature takes over. Which causes me to be angry, spiteful, hateful, and maybe even dreadful. None of which demonstrates my reliance on God...why? I know that God has a plan for each and every one of us....so why do I have moments of doubt? God is in control!
A friend once told me...."Joey, it takes a lot of manure to grow a beautiful rose garden!" I think he may have been right. The more "manure" that is dumped on my life, the more I see that garden grow later on. So in a way, I guess I am thankful to God for trusting in me to handle so much poop! I got a great life, with a loving family, a few good friends, a great job, and my dog and kittens....so what more would I need right? God has always provided (big or small), so why when I let go do I feel like my feet will stumble?
Friday, September 03, 2004
Big Ten Football
So tomarrow is the first day of Michigan Football...that's right U of M football. Now many of you wonder why I like Michigan...since I didn't even graduate from there. The truth...because my aunt and uncle both did...and when I was little they kind of got me hooked! So here I am living close to Spartan Country and yet I am a Blue and Gold fan.
On a different note...I hate moving. I should start my own moving business :o)
On a different note...I hate moving. I should start my own moving business :o)
Thursday, September 02, 2004
Silence and stars
Last night the sky was totally clear and the stars were out in full force, so I decided to go for a late night stroll.
As I walked I realized that everything was so still and silent. It made me wonder if I spend enough time being silent myself. I am a talker and can be pretty fidgity. There was no one around, just me and the stars...and yet there was a ton of noise. Not the kind of noise like cars and airplanes and people, but the noise of my thoughts, hopes and fears all taking the moment of silence to become loud. It was like my inner being could not just enjoy the night and the calmness, it had to break the silence.
Sometimes with God it is like that too...
I spend so much time talking to God and so much less time listening. My friend Noel preached a sermon on silence in church and we just sat there at one point making no noise. I felt like I was going to go crazy because I could talk, just sit there...no one talked. That is the same way I felt when I was walking in the starlight. Going to explode from silence! It made me think about my relationship with God. Do I wait on him, or just tell him what is on my heart and then fill the rest of the silence with other things...you know...so I don't have to listen.
As I walked I realized that everything was so still and silent. It made me wonder if I spend enough time being silent myself. I am a talker and can be pretty fidgity. There was no one around, just me and the stars...and yet there was a ton of noise. Not the kind of noise like cars and airplanes and people, but the noise of my thoughts, hopes and fears all taking the moment of silence to become loud. It was like my inner being could not just enjoy the night and the calmness, it had to break the silence.
Sometimes with God it is like that too...
I spend so much time talking to God and so much less time listening. My friend Noel preached a sermon on silence in church and we just sat there at one point making no noise. I felt like I was going to go crazy because I could talk, just sit there...no one talked. That is the same way I felt when I was walking in the starlight. Going to explode from silence! It made me think about my relationship with God. Do I wait on him, or just tell him what is on my heart and then fill the rest of the silence with other things...you know...so I don't have to listen.
Wednesday, September 01, 2004
Teenage kids
It is funny to me how similar and so different teenagers are from elementary ages students. I have found that my interaction with them when it comes to problems they face in their lives is so similar to the problems faced by younger children.
The dynamics of their problems seem to be more dramaticized for teenagers. I am not saying that their issues are not valid, but sometimes the drama that they infuse into their problems is simply amazing. I wonder as a teacher and a Christian, how I can help them cope with their issues in a God loving way. Is it possible to die to myself and serve God while maintaining the professionalism of being an educator? The line is very fine, but I am finding the doors to be opening more and more with my students.
God's power is ever present!
Lord, open my eyes to see! Teach me how to be an effective follower and disciple of Christ to my students!
The dynamics of their problems seem to be more dramaticized for teenagers. I am not saying that their issues are not valid, but sometimes the drama that they infuse into their problems is simply amazing. I wonder as a teacher and a Christian, how I can help them cope with their issues in a God loving way. Is it possible to die to myself and serve God while maintaining the professionalism of being an educator? The line is very fine, but I am finding the doors to be opening more and more with my students.
God's power is ever present!
Lord, open my eyes to see! Teach me how to be an effective follower and disciple of Christ to my students!
Saturday, August 28, 2004
School Has Started
FYI...Mason school has been in session now for three days and I have now been an official high school teacher for about a week. I must say that I love it so far. The age group is a lot of fun. Anyways, I will try to post everyday from here on out.
Thursday, July 22, 2004
The Sanctity of Marriage
There has been a lot of debate on marriage lately. I just thought I would share some of mine with you.
You see, to me the act of marriage doesn't stem from something legal, but Godly. It is, as I have already said, a spiritual bond through God and an act of God meant to be holy. The misconception that it is anything different I simply cannot agree with. If you are gay, then I have no problem with being what I have always been...your loving brother. We could argue for centuries and maybe never see eye to eye, but I will never change my mind about the sanctity of the act of marriage. While it may be true that some secs of the organized denominations of the church have had wrong views, that doesn't make them Godly views. The Bible cleary states right for wrong, sin from not sin. As you know, I am not perfect by any stretch of the imagination, nor would I ever claim it. I am just stating that what I base my beliefs on and my faith in, resides in something much deeper than myself. Faith is something given by God, it cannot be boughten, sought, obtained from reading or hearing...it is from God and him alone. I have learned over the 25 years I have been alive that I am wrong a lot. But the thing that has always remained constant is God's promises to me. God's word and his faithfulness are unbroken truths that remain constant and never change. I remember once upon a time someone who believed that too. But time washed away hope and with it came shattered dreams. Blaming God for the unfair circumstances, but I grew to realize that if I was going to question the bad, shouldn't I also question the good. For in God's eyes all have sinned and fall short of his glory...right? Well what could I ever do to make things right between God and myself...long story short....nothing. God loves me no matter what....and I don't deserve it. Decision time right? Well should I get what I don't deserve or get what I think I deserve. I don't deserve eternal life, forgiveness, etc. It's kind of obvious which road I have chosen...at least when I try to stay on it! ;o) However, chosing that road has come with a price...giving up my life for God. Obeying him and doing his will when I have been shown it. That means I am in God, and he is in me and nothing can change that. I pray for you everyday. I hope would do the same for me. God always listens, and answers (in his own time and his own way). Take a moment to listen more and talk less...maybe you'll hear him ;O)
You see, to me the act of marriage doesn't stem from something legal, but Godly. It is, as I have already said, a spiritual bond through God and an act of God meant to be holy. The misconception that it is anything different I simply cannot agree with. If you are gay, then I have no problem with being what I have always been...your loving brother. We could argue for centuries and maybe never see eye to eye, but I will never change my mind about the sanctity of the act of marriage. While it may be true that some secs of the organized denominations of the church have had wrong views, that doesn't make them Godly views. The Bible cleary states right for wrong, sin from not sin. As you know, I am not perfect by any stretch of the imagination, nor would I ever claim it. I am just stating that what I base my beliefs on and my faith in, resides in something much deeper than myself. Faith is something given by God, it cannot be boughten, sought, obtained from reading or hearing...it is from God and him alone. I have learned over the 25 years I have been alive that I am wrong a lot. But the thing that has always remained constant is God's promises to me. God's word and his faithfulness are unbroken truths that remain constant and never change. I remember once upon a time someone who believed that too. But time washed away hope and with it came shattered dreams. Blaming God for the unfair circumstances, but I grew to realize that if I was going to question the bad, shouldn't I also question the good. For in God's eyes all have sinned and fall short of his glory...right? Well what could I ever do to make things right between God and myself...long story short....nothing. God loves me no matter what....and I don't deserve it. Decision time right? Well should I get what I don't deserve or get what I think I deserve. I don't deserve eternal life, forgiveness, etc. It's kind of obvious which road I have chosen...at least when I try to stay on it! ;o) However, chosing that road has come with a price...giving up my life for God. Obeying him and doing his will when I have been shown it. That means I am in God, and he is in me and nothing can change that. I pray for you everyday. I hope would do the same for me. God always listens, and answers (in his own time and his own way). Take a moment to listen more and talk less...maybe you'll hear him ;O)
Monday, July 19, 2004
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